“Cheating Means The End”, And Eight Other Relationship Myths Ruining Your Love Life

9 Harmful Relationship Myths (Including Why “Cheating Means the End” Isn’t Always True)

Love should feel empowering, but too often, it’s quietly shaped by outdated or unrealistic ideas. Many of these beliefs are so deeply ingrained, we accept them without question, even when they sabotage our happiness.

One of the most common is the idea that cheating means the relationship must end. But is that true? Let’s challenge that and eight other myths that may be holding you back from healthy, authentic love.

Myth #1: Cheating Means the Relationship Must End

When trust is broken, it feels like the relationship is shattered. Many people believe in the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”, — but real life isn’t always that binary.

Say the experts, including psychotherapist and author Lohani Noor, cheating is not a single-action issue. Context also matters: Was it a one-off lapse or a long-standing deception? Was it an emotional cry for help in a neglected dynamic?

Relationships to recover from betrayal require honesty, reflection, and often therapy. But they can recover. Andrew G. Marshall, a renowned marital therapist and host of The Meaningful Life Podcast, notes that infidelity can be a turning point — either towards reconnection or respectful parting. The key is choice, not shame.

If the hurt leads to growth, transparency, and renewed respect and trust, staying can be as empowered a choice as leaving. The assumption that every relationship must end after cheating ignores the complexity of human behaviour.

Myth #2: You Must Have Instant Chemistry or It’s Not Real

We’ve been sold the fairy-tale idea that love should start with fireworks. If you don’t feel that spark right away, it’s not meant to be. But as Toby Ingham, psychotherapist and author, explains, the spark is lust, not love.

 How to Recognise Real Compatibility

Lust can be misleading. Sometimes it’s anxiety, not connection. Butterflies may reflect nervousness or even insecurity.

Instead, build on what truly matters:

• Shared values
• Emotional stability
• Mutual effort
• Feeling at ease

These are the real signs of compatibility, not fleeting chemistry. Over time, a growing attraction grounded in admiration and trust is far more sustainable. Relationships founded on emotional depth, rather than hormonal thrill, are the ones most likely to improve emotional stability and endure.

Myth #3: Healthy Couples Never Argue

Many couples think arguing is toxic — but that’s often a result of a fear of conflict, not wisdom. According to Mandy Saligari, a leading therapist, the refusal to discuss problems results in emotional repression. Over time, you begin to swallow your feelings to avoid rocking the boat.

 Conflict Isn’t the Enemy — Avoidance Is

Avoiding disagreements creates distance. Marshall points out that couples who suppress tension often become flatmates, coexisting without intimacy.

Healthy relationships don’t avoid conflict — they master it. Through healthy communication, couples learn to:

• Listen without defensiveness
• Express needs clearly
• Embrace emotional honesty

Conflict can bring new energy into relationships when it’s handled constructively.

 Myth #4: Your Partner Must Be Your Everything

The idea that your partner should meet every need — best friend, lover, therapist, life coach — is both romanticised and unrealistic. According to Naomi Magnus, psychotherapist and author, this mindset often leads to emotional burnout and pressure to meet impossible expectations.

The Power of a Wider Support Network

A wider support network is essential. Relying solely on your partner can create dependency and stifle personal growth. “Healthy relationships thrive on balance,” says Magnus. Time apart allows you to reflect, recharge, and see things differently. This deepens intimacy.

Myth #5: Sleeping in Separate Beds Means the Relationship Is Doomed

For many, sleeping apart feels like the ultimate red flag — a sign that physical and emotional intimacy is gone. But, as says Lohani Noor, this belief stems from “sleep martyrdom culture”: the idea that enduring restless nights is proof of love.

In reality, separate beds could be a practical solution for different sleep styles, anxiety, or health needs.

Redefining Intimacy Outside the Bedroom

Couples who prioritise quality sleep often compensate with deliberate intimacy rituals — morning cuddles, shared tea, or mindful conversations. Rested individuals communicate better, love deeper, and feel more present.

Myth #6: Breaking Up Means You’ve Failed

Society often sees breakups or divorce as evidence that a relationship didn’t last, and therefore failed. But you’ve grown apart doesn’t mean the connection was meaningless.

Psychotherapist Natasha Page outlines several telltale signs that a breakup might be the healthier path:

• Chronic stress or resentment
• Erosion of respect and trust
• Misaligned shared values

Letting go, in these cases, can be a form of self-care. Every connection — even one that ends — can help us find the right person for the next chapter.

Myth #7: You Only Get One Soulmate

Romance films have done us no favours here. The belief in one soulmate creates unrealistic expectations and fear-based behaviour. If you’re constantly questioning, “Have I found the one?”, you may struggle to commit — or feel trapped by the pressure to make things perfect.

Challenging the Myth of the One

In truth, there are many people with whom we can build deep, loving connections. Relationships are made, not found. They’re built on mutual effort, acceptance of differences, and shared vision — not fate.

Letting go of the one-soulmate myth can liberate you to be present in the relationship you’re in.

Myth #8: There’s No Coming Back from “The Ick”

The infamous “ick” — that sudden repulsion at a partner’s behaviour — can feel final. But more often, it’s a sign of discomfort within ourselves.

Says Mandy Saligari, “It’s easier to project onto our partner than reflect inward.” Whether it’s a cringeworthy habit or a perceived shortcoming, these moments often reflect unmet emotional needs or personal insecurities.

By exploring the feeling with curiosity, and remembering that acceptance of differences is key to real love, couples can move through the ick, not run from it.

Myth #9: Relationships Should Be Easy All the Time

When relationships hit rough patches, many people assume they’re with the wrong person. But believing love should be effortless leads to premature endings.

Marshall argues that expecting ease makes you feel broken when things get hard. The reality is, relationships are never a prison sentence either, but they do require resilience.

Challenges offer opportunities for:

• Growth
• Emotional maturity
• Deeper intimacy

The goal isn’t easy. It’s depth, insight, and emotional stability.

Final Thoughts: Rewriting the Rules of Love

The myths we’ve explored can do serious damage to modern relationships. They can prevent healing, fuel shame, or set us up for impossible standards.

But when we replace outdated assumptions with self-awareness, therapeutic insight, and healthy communication, we open ourselves up to genuine love — the kind that lasts not because it’s perfect, but because it’s chosen.

Whether you’re facing emotional affairs, navigating betrayal, or simply rethinking old narratives, remember this: Love isn’t a script. It’s a practice. And you have the power to write a better one.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can relationships recover after cheating?

Yes. If both partners commit to honesty, healing, and accountability, a relationship to recovery is possible.

What makes a relationship truly compatible?

Shared values, trust, emotional safety, and mutual effort — not instant chemistry.

Is arguing bad for a relationship?

Not necessarily. Avoiding conflict is worse. With healthy communication, arguing can strengthen your bond.

Should I stay if I don’t feel the spark?

The spark is lust, and it often fades. Focus on emotional connection, not infatuation.

Does sleeping in separate beds signal the end?

No. It’s not the ultimate red flag — it can be a healthy choice for couples who prioritise sleep and sanity.