Does the drama of romance feel a little spooky? Come with me to explore the supernatural creatures lurking on dating apps
It’s fun to see what dating lingo sticks around. “Going steady” might have been a normal thing to say in the 1950s, but now I can’t imagine anything weirder. Where are you going? One term that’s been popular for a few years now is “ghosting”, which is where a person speaks to you on a dating app, then vanishes… like a ghost! So when the Times of India put together a list of dating phenomena and gave them all haunting names, you know I had to check it out. Oh, and so we can understand what on earth is going on with online dating.
- The Ghosting Ghoul.
This is slightly scarier than common-or-garden ghosting: this is when you match with someone on a dating app, start talking to them, meet up either for sex or on a first date, and then they vanish. The difference is the physical meeting. Ghost-ghouling someone is not a nice thing to do! Not every date is going to turn into a long-term relationship, and that’s fine. If you don’t want to see someone again, please let them know. It’s a lot less stressful and online dating can be pretty stressful anyway.
- The Evil Dead Rise.
Yes, that’s the name of the fifth film in The Evil Dead franchise. According to Rotten Tomatoes, it’s pretty good – and we all love Alyssa Sutherland. Anyway, an evil dead rise is when an ex comes back into your life right after a breakup. We’re all very connected now thanks to social media, which is great if you like to see nice pictures of your friends, but it also allows former partners to slide into your DMs. Just remember Dua Lipa’s rules and don’t respond. You broke up for a reason, so leave them on “read” and do something more fun. If you need to unfollow or block an ex so you don’t dwell on a past relationship, then do it.
- The Zombie Match.
Unfortunately, this isn’t Shaun of the Dead does dating. It’s when you match with someone on an online dating app, and have a nice conversation, then they stop talking to you, only to return a few months later. Sometimes there’s a reason for this, like they’ve been away or they took a break from online dating platforms to improve their mental health. That’s all fine and understandable, but they should offer an explanation and an apology. There’s also a good chance that they’re just on dating apps to boost their confidence, and they actually have no intention of spending time with you. Do you want to kiss a zombie? No. Vampires are sexier. Don’t go on dates with zombies.
Are you sure you want to try online dating?
It’s easy to read all of this and feel disheartened. After all, they’re not exactly pleasant experiences, and I wouldn’t want to encounter any supernatural beings when I’m going on dates. Other than vampires, as mentioned. A lot of people are put off online dating for the aforementioned reasons. However, I would urge anyone to remember that you can still make genuine connections and go on wonderful dates. Dating sites aren’t right for everyone, so if you don’t enjoy them but still want to get into the world of dating, maybe take a look at some singles events or ask friends to set you up. Perhaps you could write your phone number on the receipt of brunch and slip it to a hot waiter. Chances are that you’ll still go on bad first dates, though. Ultimately, you have to remember that sure, the dating world might be horrifying, but there is the opportunity to meet your perfect match and fall in love. Just remember, bad dates make for great stories.
Conclusion.
Dating is supposed to be fun. Dating apps are even designed to be like games! Unfortunately, affairs of the heart are often dramatic and you may well get hurt. There isn’t really a magical way to avoid that. Sure, you can communicate clearly and make sure you use the right online dating site, but you know that there are going to be people there who won’t treat you right. Look out for ghosts, ghouls and zombies, and remember that if you’re lucky, you’ll meet the Scooby Doo gang.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
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