May 29, 2024
Chicago 12, Melborne City, USA
Dating advice Dating Apps Relationship

How to Get Back into the Dating Game after a Long Relationship


You might feel scared to get back into the dating game after a long break. You may have been married or in a relationship for a long time, but now you’re single again. Maybe you’ve been alone for a while and are now looking to meet someone. 

It could feel daunting, uncertain, or even a little rusty. All people deserve love and companionship, regardless of their past relationships. 

Knowing When to Start Dating Again

Having that first date is a brave decision. If you’ve just broken up a long-term relationship, giving dating a shot again requires courage. Feel proud of yourself for taking that step. Do not do anything you are not ready to do. 

There may never come a time when you feel 100% confident about things, but people may urge you to get back out there. Until you feel comfortable, you are not obligated to re-enter the dating scene.


What You Need to Know

  • If you’re recovering from a breakup from a long-term relationship, don’t be too hard on yourself or force yourself to go out too soon.
  • Let yourself have fun with dating, and don’t worry about finding another soulmate immediately. It’s okay to date a few people before settling on one.
  • You may feel a little weird at first if you’ve never tried online dating, but it’s become very common and is a great way to meet new people.
  • Spend your free time doing things you enjoy and improving yourself if you struggle to get out there or aren’t having any success.

Dating Tips After a Long-Term Relationship

1. Get closure on past relationships

Don’t enter a new relationship before you have healed from heartbreak, a messy divorce, or the loss of a spouse. 

Be sure you are completely over your last partner before starting a new relationship to give your new partner a fighting chance.

Before you jump into another relationship, it’s important to give yourself time to let go of your past experiences. If you’re not over your ex yet, you may need professional help.


2. Put yourself out there

Getting out there and mingling is the best way to meet people. Consider what you used to do before you became committed. Do you have any former hobbies that you can use to become more social? 

For instance, are you a member of a gym? Are you a painter? Do you belong to a book club or participate in one? Get back in touch with who you used to be. 

Learn a new language or achieve goals you put aside. Take up hobbies you used to enjoy. When you love what you do, it’s easier to meet people who share similar interests.

3. Be clear on your intentions

It is important to be clear about your intentions when dating after a breakup. As long as you’re honest about what you want, it’s fine to hook up or date multiple people. Openness to changing desires is essential. 

It may take some time for someone to feel ready for a committed relationship after ending a long-term relationship, and they may prefer to date casually for a while.

4. Date for fun, not to fill a void

Dating solely to fill your ex’s void makes establishing true connections difficult. There are times when we do it without even realising it. It’s a coping mechanism for a breakup that consists of just going through the motions.

5. Avoid the dating life of your exes

To move on successfully after a breakup, you must distance yourself from the dating life of your exes. Keep in touch with your ex as little as possible, including avoiding social media contact. 

It’s best not to discuss your ex’s dating life or anything related to it with your mutual friends if you share mutual friends.

6. Keep expectations in check

When you’re navigating the dating scene after a breakup, keeping your expectations low or nonexistent can prevent disappointment. When you approach dating without putting too much pressure on yourself, it can be an enjoyable experience.

7. Acknowledge that dating does not scare you

How can you tell if you’re ready? When you don’t find it terrifying to sit across from a stranger and ask how many siblings they have.

Having no fear of exploring romantic possibilities will help you feel emotionally ready to date. You need to have a sense of curiosity that is greater than your sense of risk to survive emotionally. This luxury is only available to those who are emotionally stable.

8. Start with a light conversation

Are you going to tell the whole story of your life on your first date? This may not be the best idea ever. Follow the right rules of dating. 

It is best to keep the conversation lighthearted on the first couple of dates and introduce more serious topics on your fourth date. Don’t share too much (or ask too much) too soon.

9. Meet people in a variety of ways

You should not leave things to chance if you plan on starting dating again. Make yourself available to connect with someone while you’re in line at the grocery store, using dating apps, meeting up in person, working with a matchmaker, or even signing up for a class that interests you. 

Also, take advantage of your network. Identify yourself with your outer-circle friends and let them know you’re single in case someone knows of someone who might be interested.


A dating experience can provide insight into your personality, preferences, and communication skills regardless of whether you’re looking for a serious relationship. 

As a result of these experiences, you will become more aware of who you are and what you desire in your relationships in the future.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.

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