7 Clear Signs Your Date is Blowing You Off and How to Handle It

Dating can be a thrilling adventure, but it can also be fraught with uncertainty and confusion, especially when you suspect your date might be blowing you off. Recognising the signs early can save you time, and emotional energy, and help you make informed decisions about your relationship. Here’s how to know when your date is blowing you off and what you can do about it.

1. Lack of Communication: Ignored Calls and Texts, Doesn’t Respond 

A lack of communication is one of the most apparent signs that your date might be blowing you off. If your calls and texts are often ignored or receive delayed responses, it’s a red flag. A person genuinely interested in you will try to stay in touch, no matter how busy they are. If you find yourself constantly waiting for a reply, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

• Ignored Calls:When someone is interested, they will respond to your calls or at least send a text explaining why they can’t talk at the moment.
• Delayed Responses:If your texts often go unanswered for hours or days, it’s a sign they’re not prioritising you.
• Voicemail:Frequently getting their voicemail instead of a direct response is another red flag.

2. Constantly Busy and Avoiding to Initiate Plans

Another common sign is if your date is always busy and frequently avoids making plans. They might come up with excuses for not meeting or frequently cancel and reschedule dates. While everyone has busy periods, a genuinely interested person will make time for you. If they consistently fail to do so, they might not be as invested as you are.

• Excuses:Frequent excuses like “I’m too busy” or “I need to check my schedule” are signs of avoidance.
• Cancelled Dates:Regularly cancelling dates last minute is disrespectful and indicates low interest.
• Never Initiates Plans: If you’re always the one to initiate and they rarely suggest meeting up, it’s a bad sign.

3. Mixed Signals and Inconsistent Behaviour

Mixed signals can be incredibly confusing and are often a sign of inconsistency in the relationship. One day, your date might seem very interested, and the next, they act distant or distracted. This kind of behaviour indicates a lack of commitment and can be very frustrating. Pay attention to these mixed signals as they often point to a deeper issue.

• Hot and Cold Behaviour: They might be warm and engaging one moment, then cold and unresponsive the next.
• Unpredictability:Their actions and words don’t align, making it hard to tell what they truly feel.
• Inconsistent Interest:If their interest fluctuates without any clear reason, it’s a sign they’re not fully invested.

4. Not Investing Effort in the Relationship

If your date isn’t investing effort into the relationship, it’s a clear indicator that they might be blowing you off. This can manifest as not planning dates, not showing interest in your life, and generally being passive about the relationship. Relationships require effort from both parties and if one side isn’t contributing, it’s a significant red flag.

• Lack of Plans:If they don’t make plans for dates or activities, they’re not prioritising the relationship.
• No Interest in Your Life:Not asking about your day or showing interest in your activities and feelings.
• Passivity:Waiting for you to initiate every conversation or meet-up.

5. Talking About Other People or Being Distracted

Does your date often talk about other people or seem more interested in their phone than in you during dates? This behaviour is not only disrespectful but also a clear sign that they might not be as interested in you. When someone is genuinely interested, they focus on the person they are with and invest in the conversation.

• Mentioning Other Dates:Constantly talking about other girls or past dates indicates they’re not focused on you.
• Phone Distraction:Being glued to their phone or Instagram instead of engaging with you shows a lack of interest.
• Lack of Engagement: Not asking open-ended questions or showing curiosity about your life.

6. Avoiding Commitment and Serious Conversations

If your date avoids serious conversations about the future or commitment, it might be because they are not looking for anything serious. They might deflect or change the subject when these topics come up. This avoidance can be a way of blowing you off without directly saying it.

• Deflection:Changing the topic when discussing plans or relationship status.
• Non-committal Language: Using vague phrases like “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
• Avoidance:Steering clear of any discussions about where the relationship is heading.

7. Gut Feeling and Intuition

Sometimes, you just know. If your gut tells you something is off, it’s crucial to trust your instincts. Gut feelings are often based on subtle cues that your conscious mind might not immediately recognise. If you consistently feel uneasy or uncertain about your date’s behaviour, it might be time to have an open conversation or move on.

• Intuition:Pay attention to your gut when it tells you something isn’t right.
• Subtle Cues: Notice small behaviours that make you uncomfortable or suspicious.
• Consistency:If the feeling of unease is consistent, it’s a good sign that something is wrong.

How to Address the Situation

Communicate Your Concerns

If you suspect your date is blowing you off, the best approach is to communicate your concerns openly. Explain how their behaviour makes you feel and see if they are willing to change. Sometimes, a lack of awareness can lead to these issues, and a straightforward conversation can resolve misunderstandings.

• Open Conversation:Approach the topic calmly and respectfully.
• Express Feelings:Clearly articulate how their actions affect you.
• Seek Clarification:Ask if there’s a specific reason for their behaviour.

Observe Their Response and Trust Your Gut

Pay close attention to how they respond to your concerns. Are they apologetic and willing to make changes, or are they dismissive and defensive? Their response will give you a clear indication of their level of interest and commitment.

• Apologies:Genuine apologies and efforts to change are positive signs.
• Defensiveness:Defensive reactions indicate a lack of willingness to improve.
• Follow-Up Actions:Observe if their behaviour changes following the conversation.

Making a Decision About the Relationship

After addressing your concerns, it’s time to make a decision. If their behaviour doesn’t change or if they continue to blow you off, it might be best to move on. You deserve someone who values and respects your time and effort.

• Evaluate the Changes:Assess whether there has been a genuine effort to improve.
• Set Boundaries: Know what you’re willing to accept and where to draw the line.
• Prioritise Yourself:Remember that you deserve respect and genuine interest.

Recognising the signs that your date is blowing you off can save you from investing time and emotion into a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. By paying attention to their communication, effort, and behaviour, you can make informed decisions that are best for your well-being. Always trust your gut feeling and prioritise your self-respect and happiness.

Rachel Hall

Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.