Now listen up, because this is really, really important!
Your first date with somebody is often the single most important date you will ever go on with them… so don’t mess it up.
I know, because I have messed up a first date, and I won’t repeat that experience.
As the saying goes… “first impressions last”. They certainly do. Your first date will be remembered and will determine whether there is a second one. So make it count.
Ideally your first date will give you all the ammunition you need to show the best of you, but also to allow your date to do the same. There are occasions when just having a meal together will be enough, as it gives you the opportunity to get to know each other in a face to face, relaxed environment. So, it doesn’t have to be an adventurous experience. I just needs to be executed well, with attention to detail. So, if you are going to a restaurant, for example, I would recommend that it is somewhere you have been before and know it to serve good food, have good service and (this part is hugely important) cater for a wide range of tastes or allow for those who have dietary limitations (does it have vegan, vegetarian, gluten free options for example).
Being the modern girl that I am I asked a guy on a date once and decided to meet in one of my favourite pubs. It was a traditional English pub, roaring fire, real ales, good pub grub and a lively atmosphere. It was a place I had eaten at many times and could vouch for both the quality of the food and the level of service. I had this covered.
When my date arrived, we decided to have a few drinks before ordering food. So we got to know each other and chatted about everything other than the menu. But when we eventually got round to the menu, we hit on a major problem. He was vegan and also could only eat gluten free produce.
OK, I hadn’t allowed for this and when we had thoroughly scrutinized the menu, it turned out there was NOTHING on it that he could eat. Not one single thing. We had a few more drinks. There was nowhere else nearby that we could go to instead. We decided to call it a day. And while he played it down at the time, we never saw each other again.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
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