Question 1: Marital/Relationship status
I am not here to judge anyone, but for me personally seeing someone who is already spoken for is not my thing and it would be a huge waste of time if I found out later that the match was already in a relationship.
Question 2: What is he after on this app?
This is both an extremely easy and important question. There is nothing wrong with looking for a relationship on TInder, or looking for a quick fling, as long as you are on the same page with your match. I never ask it right away, but I usually come back to it if I feel like the chat is going well.
Question 3: Is he a meat lover or a vegetarian?
This is obviously extremely personal and will not matter to most people, but at this point of life I decided to go without meat in my diet. So for this issue not to become a problem later on I prefer to ask it earlier rather than later. You can replace this with anything else you feel strongly about that has the potential to cause a conflict.
Question 4: What would his idea of a perfect first date be?
This might seem silly, but if you have an opportunity to make the first date perfect, why not at least try? And if his idea matches yours then you know that sparks have a high chance of flying that night!
Question 5: What is his zodiac sign?
Once again, this is a personal one for me and might not matter as much to everyone else. Take it as another example of not being afraid of asking about something that you feel passionate about – since I recently completed an astrology course I might put some value into his reply.
Obviously these questions relate to me and will never become a checklist for everyone, but it gives you an example of how you can easily get some conversation topics before the first meeting, along with ways to avoid dates where you and the partner just won’t click right from the start on important life views.
On another note, while I know that all my readers are intelligent and experienced people, I would like to remind you all of one rule: first dates should take place in a public setting, preferably not too late in the afternoon. It is a crazy world out there, friends, and I would hate for something bad to happen to any of you.
I recently found out that Tinder added a panic button that is supposed to help improve your safety on the first date. The user can register information about the time and place of the date, along with information on their match. The police will be alerted if the user does not respond to chat pings and dispatch calls after the panic button is pressed. I think this is an excellent idea!
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
