Couple’s trips are just for happy couples, right?
I recently acquired insight about a woman who divorced her husband because he refused to look at her tomatoes. No, that’s not a euphemism, but a genuine reason why couples part ways. This woman had spent months carefully growing and nurturing her plants, and was very proud of the results, but couldn’t convince her husband to step away from the sofa for a few minutes to admire them with her. She ended their marriage.
This might seem monumentally petty from both parties, but I’m inclined to agree that taking their first trip together might strain their relationship, leading to turmoil. She explained that this wasn’t the first time that she’d been enthusiastic about something he hadn’t cared about, and she decided she wanted to spend her life either alone or with someone who noticed and appreciated her.
It’s an interesting insight into how petty incidents, when taken alone, seem like ridiculous reasons to break up, but in a larger context, they paint a picture of a life of irksome monotony. When Dating.com provided an insight into the reasons why couples break up. shared a list of the reasons couples end relationships just before, during or after taking a vacation Together, some truly ridiculous choices leapt out as reasons why couples break up, including preference disagreements and incompatibility.
Why do couples break up on holidays?
There are signs of incompatibility, often portrayed as rational reasons, like one partner planning solo activities on a couple’s trip, for example. Arriving late at the airport, you miss your flight. One of the terrible reasons why couples break up is incompatibility showcased when one partner acts in a completely different way and yells at the tour guide/concierge/waiter. Then, there are the bonkers reasons why couples split: sharing a bathroom meant that someone realised that their partner left toothpaste in the sink; being woken up too early; chewing with their mouth open. If this is the only reason for the break-up, that’s ridiculous, bordering on nonsensical.
Perhaps the secret, real reason is that one partner saw an especially tanned surf instructor on the beach, fell in love and plans to remain in Majorca, selling anklets on the beach. One thing is clear: travelling after a break-up is going to be rough, especially if you bought adjoining aeroplane seats and have to sit next to your now-ex, wondering if you could have saved the relationship if you’d just remembered to replace the loo roll.
The Vice President of Dating.com The survey’s bizarre findings offered some interesting tips to follow and to be honest, they are also rather strange. For example, she recommends booking everything in your own name so that if you break up before the holiday, you can take someone else instead. I feel like it would be pretty strange to go on a couple’s break with a just-dumped friend, and there could be problems because the moment anyone insists that the plane tickets and hotel should be in their name, alarm bells could start ringing to warn of an impending break up. Sure, travelling after a break up can be a good way to move past the relationship turmoil, but sitting alone in an extremely romantic room seems like a bummer.
We should also spare a thought for couples who break up on a plane. Yes, they have to deal with the heartache and the stress of being trapped with someone who just dumped you, but they’re also being judged by everyone else onboard. This might be the only time a crying baby is wanted. If you decide on breaking up during the holidays, a survey suggest to at least wait until after the turmoil of your first trip together has touched down. Post-holiday break-ups are bad, but mid-holiday break-ups are worse.
What could we do to prevent break-ups on vacations?
Here’s the thing. Dating someone is really, really nice – or, at least, it should be. But going on holiday together means spending almost all of your time together without any friends to dilute your one-on-one time, so things will get a bit more intense. Although you shouldn’t ditch your new significant other and go and do solo activities for the whole trip, perhaps a walk on the beach by yourself would be a nice way to spend the morning if you’ve woken up weirdly early.
Remember you still need to give each other a little bit of space. If you find travelling stressful, plan a few super-relaxing activities to help decompress, like a couple’s massage soon after you arrive, so you can get in the headspace to bond and get ready to enjoy your trip. Here’s a valuable tip: Make an effort and have fun with your partner, and, for heaven’s sake, don’t leave your shared bathroom disgusting, because that’s an unforgivable ick for everyone.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
Leave feedback about this