Last Updated on December 1, 2025 by Rachel Hall
The Gen Z Dating Trend “Throning”: Why This New Dating Trend Is Alarming Relationship Experts in Modern Dating
Dating isn’t dead—but it’s evolving into something far more performative. Enter “throning”, a new dating trend that’s sweeping through Gen Z circles, leaving many confused, heartbroken, and wondering whether they were ever truly loved—or just used for their clout.
If you’ve ever felt like your partner was more interested in your LinkedIn title, Instagram followers, or vibe in their social feed than your actual affection, you may have been throned.
This guide unpacks everything you need to know about this uniquely toxic trend: what it is, how to spot it, the psychological cost, and—most importantly—how to avoid being turned into a status symbol.
What Is “Throning” in Dating—and Why Everyone’s Talking About It
The new dating term “throning” refers to a disturbing shift in how some people date someone: not for love or genuine connection, but to boost their own image.
To put it simply, throning means dating someone who can help you raise your social status. It involves dating someone who looks good in pictures, moves in the right social circles, or brings prestige, popularity, or even influence to your brand or identity.
As one TikToker explains, “Basically, the date is a throne that’s used to elevate the person doing the throning.”
Unlike genuine dating built on intimacy and shared values, throning is a performative, transactional experience. You’re no longer a partner; you’re a prop—one step above a handbag but far below a human being.
Throning vs. Hypergamy: What’s the Real Difference?
You might be wondering if this is just modern-day hypergamy—the idea of “dating up.” But while hypergamy was often about long-term financial or social security, ‘throning’ is short-term, aesthetic, and solely on social metrics.
Here’s What Separates Throning from Hypergamy
- Hypergamy: You seek a partner who provides resources or status for mutual benefit, often in marriage.
- Throning: You choose someone to boost your public image, not to build a life with them.
In this type of relationship, the goal for throners isn’t love—it’s visibility, virality, and validation. You’re dating for the brand, not the bond.
5 Signs You’re Being Throned by Your Partner
If you’re not sure, these red flags will help indicate throning.
Look Out for These Clues:
- Public or private behaviour changes dramatically. In public, they adore you. In private, they barely engage.
- They show more interest in your status or clout than in your personality.
- Your social media is full of posts showing you off—but your real-life emotional needs go unmet.
- The relationship feels like a photo shoot, not a partnership.
- They get defensive when you try to communicate with your partner about real feelings or boundaries.
In these cases, you’re not a partner. You’re a trophy. And it hurts.
Why Gen Z Is Especially Vulnerable to Throning
Gen Z grew up in the age of Instagram aesthetics, TikTok performances, and apps that make dating frictionless and gamified. As such, many daters—especially younger ones—are conditioned to value optics over emotional depth.
Some reasons this new dating trend is thriving:
- Online dating people is no longer about connection—it’s about “vibes.”
- External validation (likes, comments) can feel more satisfying than real emotional affection.
- The way they curate their life online includes who they’re seen with—relationships are branding.
The pressure to appear “high value” encourages throning. You’re not finding someone to build with—you’re looking for someone to raise your social capital.
What Happens When You’re Throned and Then Discarded
Once your value drops—maybe you lose relevance, experience a breakup, or stop fitting their status or clout goals—you’re dropped.
This leads to a painful cycle:
- You feel used, discarded, and confused.
- You start questioning your worth.
- You might begin dating others just to reclaim your identity, leading to toxic patterns.
The worst part? It’s often paired with banksying—where your partner slowly withdraws without explanation. The tiktoker warns: this isn’t just disinterest—it’s emotional ghosting in slow motion.
What Dating Coaches and Therapists Say About Throning’s Emotional Damage
According to leading relationship experts, the rise of ‘throning’ reflects a damaging shift in the dating landscape.
“These dynamics aren’t just hurtful—they erode long-term relationship satisfaction and intimacy,” says one well-known dating coach and the author of a relationship guide for modern couples.
Therapists report:
- A rise in validation-seeking behaviour
- Increased ego-driven dating
- More anxiety and self-doubt post-breakup
When your relationship is built on optics, the emotional fallout is massive.
How to Avoid Throning or Being Throned
It starts with reflection.
If you’re afraid you’re a throner, ask yourself:
- Am I in this to love, or to boost my brand?
- Do I value this person—or their social standing?
- Do I treat my relationships the same way I treat content?
If you fear you’re being throned, learn to:
- Watch for early flags in the dating trend.
- Ask questions early and often.
- Focus on building genuine connections and not just chemistry.
- Prioritise affection in private—not just performative love online.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Yourself Be Someone’s Throne
This new dating trend is more than a buzzword—it’s a mirror reflecting what’s wrong in our increasingly superficial approach to love.
If someone can only love you when you serve a purpose, they don’t love you at all.
Whether you’re a Gen Z navigating modern dating, a millennial re-entering the scene, or simply tired of being viewed as a status symbol, remember:
You deserve to be valued, not used. You deserve a relationship dynamic rooted in mutual care—not social climbing.
So next time someone slides into your DMs, ask yourself:
Are they here for you—or for your throne?
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
