Last Updated on November 13, 2025 by Rachel Hall
Whether you were dumped unexpectedly or saw the relationship ending from a mile away, the aftermath of a bad breakup can leave you feeling like your entire world has shattered. You might feel numb, heartbroken, and question your worth. And if it was a serious relationship, the pain can feel even more unbearable.
But here’s the truth: You are not unlovable. You are not alone. And you will heal.
These five powerful, therapist-informed strategies are more than just feel-good advice — they’re grounded in neuroscience, emotional insight, and practical action to help you move forward. So if you’re going through a breakup, stuck in grief, or silently crying into a pillow, read on.
This is where your healing process begins.
1. Acknowledge the Grief: Don’t Fake Strength
After a difficult breakup, your brain experiences withdrawal symptoms — similar to losing a substance you’re addicted to. That’s because love activates the same neural pathways as reward and addiction. So yes, it makes sense that you feel like shit. It makes sense that you can’t stop thinking about your ex. It makes sense that you’re re-reading old texts at 2 am.
Suppressing those emotions won’t make them go away. They’ll just fester as resentment, anger, or deeper sadness. Instead, allow yourself to:
- Mourn the relationship that ended
- Sit with the sadness, the denial, and the longing
- Cry, scream, journal, vent — just don’t drown in silence
Therapists often say that grief comes in waves — one moment you’re fine, the next you’re on the floor sobbing into a pint of ice cream. That’s normal. Honour those waves.
You don’t need to feel okay today. You just need to accept that you’re feeling. That’s healing.
2. Erase the Illusion of Getting Back Together
Many people in the aftermath of a breakup secretly hope they might get back with their ex. That hope can be comforting… and completely soul-crushing.
If someone made the decision to walk away, they knew what they were doing. If they cheated, emotionally withdrew, or simply didn’t want the same things, respect the reality of that.
Keep contacting them might feel like it will give you closure, but it actually keeps you stuck. It maintains the illusion that the relationship is on pause — not over. This prolongs the pain and prevents you from living your life without them.
Here’s what you should do:
- Erase their number (write it down somewhere safe if you must)
- Unfollow and mute them on social media
- Delete old threads or archive them away from sight
- Ask friends not to bring them up
This step isn’t about being cold. It’s self-care. It’s about removing the triggers that keep you emotionally attached to someone who’s no longer part of your journey.
3. Move Your Body to Move Your Mind
One of the most overlooked tools for emotional healing? Moving your body.
When your mind is trapped in spirals — overthinking why your ex left, what you could’ve done differently, if they’re now on a date — physical movement gets you out of your head and into the present.
Even a short walk or a few minutes of stretching can:
- Reduce mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression
- Help regulate sleep and energy
- Boost your confidence through small, daily wins
You’re not training for a marathon — you’re reclaiming control.
And yes, you might want to just lie in bed, cuddling a pillow and binge-watching sad shows. But even 15 minutes a day can start to help you feel better. Choose movement that feels fulfilling — not punishing. Dancing, yoga, walking with music, cycling, swimming — anything that helps you reconnect with your body.
4. Don’t Romanticise the Past — Rebuild the Truth
When you’re in grief, it’s tempting to replay the good memories over and over. The laughs, the holidays, the way they used to make you feel safe.
But if the relationship ended, there was a reason. Maybe they cheated, became distant, dumped you cruelly, or simply no longer felt like a partner.
You may now start thinking:
- “Maybe I was too much.”
- “Maybe I’ll never feel better than I did with them.”
- “Maybe I don’t deserve love.”
None of that is true.
Rebuilding truth is about stepping back and being honest with yourself:
- What did I sacrifice?
- What red flags did I ignore?
- What parts of me got lost trying to please them?
You are not mourning just the person — you are mourning the future you imagined. And redefining that future is where your freedom begins.
Start to rebuild your self-image. Take up something you’re passionate about. Invest in hobbies, creativity, and career goals. These are more than distractions — they’re bridges to the new you.
5. Surround Yourself With People Who Remind You You’re Lovable
Breakups leave you feeling isolated. Like no one understands. But isolation is where self-doubt grows. You start to believe the inner critic that says you’re unlovable, broken, or too much.
That voice lies.
This is when surrounding yourself with safe, encouraging people matters most:
- Call friends and family.
- Plan dinners, walks, and coffee catchups.
- Socialise, even if it feels like work at first.
- Tell people what you need: space, support, distraction, or just presence.
You might feel like you want to start dating again — and that’s okay. But do it when it feels like growth, not when it’s just to fill the silence. Don’t seek validation from someone new until you’ve revalidated yourself.
And if you’re not ready? That’s perfect too. Healing doesn’t follow a timeline. It takes time. But the right people will make you feel like you’re worth showing up for, even in your messiest moments.
You deserve love. But more importantly, you deserve peace — and both are on their way.
Final Words: You Are Worthy of Love, Even Now
Let’s get honest: this might still feel impossible. You might be rereading this article for the fifth time, still unable to accept that it’s really over.
That’s okay.
Because healing isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about taking time, day by day, to do the little things that help you feel more like yourself again.
So cry. Eat your ice cream. Scream into a pillow. Indulge in your heartbreak. Then — when you’re ready — stand up and take the next step.
Because no matter how you feel right now, you are worthy of love. And one day, you’ll meet someone who proves that to you without a doubt — but by then, you’ll already know it for yourself.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
