Last Updated on October 22, 2025 by Rachel Hall
7 Powerful Signs Relationship Experts Say It May Be Time to Call It Quits
Ending a relationship is one of the most painful and confusing decisions a person can make. Yet, according to relationship experts, recognising the signs that it may be time to let go is often the first step toward healing. Whether you’ve been with your partner for months or decades, doubts can creep in, especially when there’s a persistent lack of connection, rising conflict, or deep emotional distance.
This guide goes beyond clichés. It draws on advice from therapists, psychologists, and leading voices like John Gottman to help you reflect, process, and decide whether to stay or move on. If you’re navigating a struggle in a long-term partnership, this could be the most important article you read today.
1. You Feel Emotionally Disconnected — and It’s Not Just a Phase
When you no longer feel close to your partner, and instead experience a persistent sense of detachment or numbness, it’s often more than just a rough patch. Emotional distance doesn’t always come with shouting matches — it can be quiet, creeping in like a fog.
You may notice that you’re no longer interested in spending time together or that conversations have turned into logistical exchanges rather than meaningful ones. The warmth, humour, and comfort that once came naturally may now feel forced or absent.
Relationship experts stress that a lack of emotional safety and consistent connection is one of the most powerful predictors of relationship breakdown. If you’re feeling indifferent about your partner, it may signal that the emotional bond is eroding.
Key questions to ask:
- Do I still feel safe being emotionally open with my partner?
- When was the last time I shared something personal or vulnerable?
- Do I feel emotionally nourished or drained after our time together?
2. You Don’t Trust Each Other Anymore
Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. When it cracks — whether due to betrayal, financial infidelity, secrecy, or broken promises — the entire foundation becomes shaky.
While many couples do recover from trust issues, it’s only possible when both partners are willing to be honest, vulnerable, and committed to rebuilding. If there’s been repeated dishonesty and a refusal to take accountability, that’s a sign the relationship is in serious trouble.
The renowned psychologist John Gottman warns of the Four Horsemen — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — as behaviours that predict divorce with astonishing accuracy. When these patterns dominate your communication, and trust feels permanently damaged, it may be time to reassess the partnership.
3. You’re No Longer Sharing or Communicating with Care
Conversations Feel Like Chores or Battles (H3)
Do you find yourself avoiding difficult conversations or walking on eggshells just to keep the peace? That’s a classic signof emotional disconnect and a breakdown in communication.
Open, authentic, and fair communication is the lifeline of every romantic partnership. When you or your partner stop making the effort to express thoughts, needs, or frustrations — or when every conversation leads to a fight — the relationship suffers.
Relationship experts highlight that couples who share their emotions with respect, even in disagreement, tend to build lasting bonds. But if communication has devolved into sarcasm, blame, or silence, it may be time to consider professional advice or even a break.
4. The Relationship Feels More Like an Obligation Than a Joy
You’ve Lost the Spark, and It’s Not Coming Back (H3)
It’s normal for the initial excitement to fade in a long-term relationship, but if there’s no sense of joy, connection, or shared purpose left, you may be hanging on out of habit, not love.
Many people stick with a partner because of routine, shared responsibilities, or fear of being alone — not because the relationship is still fulfilling. If you’re constantly fantasising about a different life or feel lonelier with your partner than without, that’s a telling sign.
Ask yourself:
- Do we still invest in each other’s happiness?
- Are our conversations emotionally rich or purely transactional?
- Have I stopped caring whether or not we spend time together?
If your relationship has become a shell of what it once was, and you’ve already tried to reignite the spark without success, it may be time to accept the truth and move forward.
5. Your Values and Goals No Longer Align
When your core values, life goals, or future path no longer align with your partner’s, the road ahead becomes rocky. This isn’t about having different hobbies — it’s about fundamentally diverging priorities.
You may want to begin travelling the world, while your partner craves stability. Perhaps one of you wants children, while the other doesn’t. If compromises can’t be made without sacrificing your self or authenticity, it becomes a losing game.
Relationship work requires understanding, but not at the cost of your truth. When staying together demands the abandonment of your beliefs or goals, it creates a slow emotional breakdown that often leads to hurt and resentment.
6. Only One Person Is Putting in the Effort
The Dynamic Is Imbalanced and Draining
A thriving relationship is a mutual effort. When one person is constantly initiating conversations, planning dates, or suggesting therapy — and the other remains emotionally passive or resistant — the dynamic becomes toxic.
You can’t rebuild a connection by yourself. Even the most loving partner will eventually burn out if their efforts aren’t matched. Therapists and psychologists call this the “pursuer-distancer” dynamic, where one chases closeness and the other pulls away.
If you’ve repeatedly asked for change or support, and your partner continues to ignore or dismiss your concerns, it’s a sign that your emotional needs may never be met.
7. Deep Down, You Already Know It’s Over
You’ve Been Carrying the Weight of Uncertainty
Sometimes, all the signs are there, and yet we still hesitate. You might feel torn, sad, or guilty. But if your gut instinct has been whispering — or shouting — that this relationship has run its course, it’s time to listen.
Ask yourself: If nothing changed, would I be happy staying here a year from now? Would I encourage a friend to stay in this same partnership if they were in my shoes?
Staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons — security, familiarity, or fear of starting over — only delays the inevitable and amplifies the difficulty.
Making the decision to let go doesn’t mean the relationship was a failure. It means you’re choosing honesty, growth, and the possibility of a more genuine, fulfilling connection elsewhere.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Loving, Supportive Relationship
No one else can make this decision for you. But if these signs resonate — if you’re carrying emotional exhaustion, distance, or doubt — then it might be time to check in with yourself and consider professional help.
Ending a relationship is never easy, but it can also be the beginning of a healthier, more authentic life. With supportiveguidance from a trusted therapist, and a shift in perspective, you can make a decision rooted in care, not fear.
You deserve a bond built on trust, respect, emotional safety, and joy. If that’s no longer possible in your current partnership, then it’s more than okay — it’s healthy — to move on.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.