If you decided to stand in the street and ask people which social groups they found most annoying, they would probably answer “people who stand in the street and ask questions”. If you managed to convince them to continue the conversation, they might answer “vegans” or “fitness buffs”. Whilst there isn’t, to my knowledge, a dating site for vegans, there’s now a way for gym enthusiasts to meet and fall in love – FITFCK.
Pros of FITFCK.
Let’s look at the immediate pros of the invention of FITFCK, a social and dating site designed for gym lovers: it means that the rest of us don’t have to deal with them. We don’t need to listen to the endless ramblings of someone desperate to convey the difference between crunches and burpees, we don’t need to learn what pre-workout is. We don’t need to listen to someone panic over calories and sugar and think, uncomfortably, how much it sounds like they have an eating disorder. They can all obsess together and let the rest of us enjoy carbohydrates after 6 pm and go for walks on the beach without checking our step-counter ten times.
Features and founder.
FITFCK is designed with different levels so that users can tell how committed their matches are to the gym. You can select options ranging from “regular gym-goer” to “athlete” to “professional bodybuilder” so everyone can figure out your dedication to your abs. This is clearly a good thing: my mother, who likes to go swimming after work, could technically be considered a “regular gym-goer” but she doesn’t have a lot in common with the founder of FITFCK, Jamie Wykes-Hobday, a 27-year-old bodybuilder with a stoic, psychopathic expression and the air of Aryan purity that surely infused Hitler’s wildest wet dreams.
Apparently, Wykes-Hobday realised that his bodybuilding career was having a detrimental effect on his social life because he couldn’t go out for meals or stay up too late. I guess, with FITFCK, he can find the lucky person to slam protein shakes with and then get tucked up into bed by 8pm.
It certainly appears that FITFCK has been stewing away for a few years. The initial soft launch was planned in the USA in 2018, and according to the Play Store, it’s been available since September 2017. The app has been downloaded over 50,000 times, which is pretty impressive, but according to user reviews, there have been issues ranging from photos appearing upside down to problems with installation. Some users have also claimed that there aren’t many people on it, which is a problem that plagues many new startups. FITFCK recently held its first event in London.
The site has proudly boasted that it sold out in 12 minutes, which is pretty impressive until you realise that there were only 300 tickets up for grabs. Nevertheless, an event in a capital city is likely to raise FITFCK’s profile and help attract new members. I would be remiss not to mention that the event was a kind of traffic light party where those in a relationship took a red protein shaker and singles took a green protein shaker.
I know that many would consider this an irrelevant detail, but I believe it illustrates exactly the kind of cringiness many would choose to avoid. Personally, I would find this even more uncomfortable than doing squats in a room full of men commenting on my “form”.
I can’t imagine a dating site I’d be less comfortable on than FITFCK. I have nothing against gym enthusiasts, but I also think that it’s easy to become obsessed and people whose entire life revolves around their muscles are usually people I struggle to connect with. It seems to me that the truly healthy thing is to have a variety of interests and not just focus on your #gymlife. Or, to put it another way, you wouldn’t just do leg day all the time – you need to strengthen your other muscles, too.
Nevertheless, for anyone who does want to spend their time outside of the gym thinking and talking about what they did in the gym, and then having the person who makes their heart pound racing them on a treadmill, perhaps FITFCK is the perfect option. I suppose it’s nice to meet someone with common interests, but because I cannot tell you what a quad is, or if I have one, I’ll have to swipe left on this dating app.