May 29, 2024
Chicago 12, Melborne City, USA
Dating Apps Relationship

How do Gender and Generational Differences Affect Online Dating, and What is ToDate Doing to Change Things?

Gender and Generational

ToDate has done its homework and spoken to people of different gender and generational. They all think dating sucks. Is ToDate going to change this?

Another day, another dating app striving for attention. We’ve had the ridiculous (dating through memes) and the clear rip-offs of Tinder (too numerous to count) and the niche (dating for dog owners, dating on Wednesdays) and now, we have ToDate. The idea is to organise same-day dates for users, because that will, for some reason, help people find love.

How it works

According to my research, ToDate currently has over a thousand downloads. This seems minuscule, but I suppose we all have to start somewhere. Currently, the app is only available in the UK, and I would expect that it works best in big cities because you’ve got a better chance of finding another user. ToDate works by offering its users a variety of activities, such as going to a bar, getting coffee or walking their dog, then getting them to select a time slot when they’re available for a date. They’re divided into three-hour segments. When users have chosen, say, to get a drink at 9 pm, they will be shown other people who have selected the same time and activity. They can then press a “like” button, and if the other person “likes” them back, they can begin messaging and making plans.

Gender and Generational
Gender and Generational

What’s good about ToDate?

 As I look through, there are a few things I appreciate about ToDate. Firstly, they’re making an effort to prevent catfishing with their AI software. Even if catfishers do manage to make it onto the site, they’ll run into some problems when, within 24 hours, they’re on a date and have to reveal that they’re actually older and shorter than they claimed. They also require users to confirm their pronouns, which is easy, progressive and helpful. Finally, I see value in the idea of a dating service which doesn’t anticipate a long talking stage and instead moves on to a first date. Sometimes you need to meet someone to gauge chemistry, and this allows you to cut to the chase quicker and not waste time with someone you’re not really into. 

What’s bad about ToDate? 

We do have to mention the negatives. Every single person who has taken the time to write a review of this app on Google Play has given it one star, with complaints about the lack of users and the amount of data you need to provide while signing up. I’ve discussed before the awkwardness of a dating app’s early stages where they have to seem like the place to be to attract users and therefore become the place to be. I also see why people don’t want to share photos of their ID with an unknown company, although ToDate is far from the only dating site to require it. 

Gender and Generational
Gender and Generational

What does ToDate’s research show? 

It does seem like ToDate has done its research in the marketplace. The dating app isn’t obviously targeted at one generation or sexual orientation.

They surveyed nearly 1000 people and discovered the following things: 

  • 67% of women would rather get to know someone in person and not online
  • Half of Gen Z would like to get to know someone in person and not online
  • 75% of Boomers would like to get to know someone in person and not online
  • 10% of Boomers are looking for love, and 40% of them dislike the dating process
  • 33% of Gen Z are looking for love
  • 1 in 5 people has been catfished in the past, and women are more worried about it than men
  • 21% of those surveyed don’t use dating apps because of the vetting process
  • 75% of millennials and Gen Z currently use a dating app… which seems suspiciously high, because surely more than 25% of millennials and Gen Z-ers are in closed relationships
  • 84% of millennials would rather find love organically and not on a dating site

What can we extrapolate from this data? In theory, people of all genders and generations do not enjoy dating apps, and therefore a dating app which is designed to be used for an afternoon and then discarded should be great. However, this means that the matches must like each other, which isn’t guaranteed. Some dating apps ask a lot of questions when you sign up about your dating preferences, but ToDate doesn’t seem to have that. So ultimately, users of dating apps need to decide if they’re willing to reveal all to a computer in hopes of meeting one person who might be perfect for them, or be on a dating app and consequently on a date within a day with someone who might be completely unsuitable. 


Ultimately, I like ToDate as an idea, but I don’t really see it taking off. It’s a shame because they’ve clearly identified an issue with online dating and are offering a clear solution. However, for their app to work, they need a large user base and with their current rating and limited online presence, I don’t see them recruiting more people any time soon.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.

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