How To Decide Whether To Step Back From A Difficult Relationship — Or Stick It Out

Last Updated on November 25, 2025 by Rachel Hall

How to Decide Whether to Stay in a Relationship or Walk Away: Clear Answers for Uncertainty and Knowing What to Do

There comes a moment in many people’s lives when they arrive at a crossroad in their relationship. You’re tired, confused, perhaps even anxious, and constantly trying to figure out whether you should stay in a relationship that no longer feels fulfilling — or walk away for good.

This article is your guide to making that brave, informed, and heartfelt choice. Whether you’re married, in a romantic relationship, or in a partnership that feels complex, these 9 powerful steps will help you gain clarity, rediscover your authentic self, and decide what’s best for your emotional and psychological wellbeing.

1. Clarify Your Core Values 

When facing relational confusion, the first step is to reconnect with your core values. These are your deepest beliefs — about love, safety, respect, growth, and how a relationship should function.

Ask yourself:

• Does my partner encourage or challenge my values?
• Have I had to discount my needs to maintain peace?
• Am I living in alignment with what truly matters to me?

If you’re compromising your values, you’re likely living out a version of yourself that doesn’t feel authentic. Whether in a marriage or a long-term date, shared values are more critical than surface compatibility. You and your partner may feel emotionally attached, but if you don’t align in life priorities, the connection often leads to long-term misalignment and resentment.

2. Assess Emotional and Psychological Safety

A healthy relationship should offer more than companionship — it should provide a consistent sense of emotional and psychological safety. If you’re constantly on edge or feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it’s time to take a deeper look.

Ask:

• Am I able to express myself without fear of conflict or dismissal?
• Does my partner listen when I speak from the heart?
• Do I feel safe, emotionally and physically, in this space?

If you’re questioning whether something is “bad enough” to leave, know this: you don’t need to justify leaving a situation that violates your peace. You don’t have to settle. You simply need to prioritise your mental and emotional health.

3. Establish and Maintain Boundaries 

A boundary isn’t about pushing someone away; it’s about creating emotional safety. Clear boundaries protect your wellbeing and teach others how to treat you with respect.

Ask:

• Do I have to repeatedly address the same issues?
• Does my partner dismiss or ignore my boundaries?
• Have I started trying to stay silent to avoid conflict?

If your partner’s actions repeatedly cross your lines, this isn’t a healthy relationship — it’s a pattern of disrespect. And you don’t have to keep proving your worth to someone who won’t tolerate your truth.

4. Communicate to Clarify, Not to Convince 

When you’re caught in the push-pull of staying or leaving, it’s tempting to try and fix things by over-talking. But communication isn’t just about problem-solving — it’s about clarity.

Instead of trying to convince your partner, try asking:

• Are they willing to change?
• Do they show empathy and commit to rebuilding?
• Are they open to therapy or family therapy?

If you’re doing all the emotional labour, or your partner avoids accountability, the relationship becomes one-sided. One person can’t carry the weight of two.

5. Recognise the Pattern, Not Just the Problem 

Many people ask, “How do I decide whether this is just a rough patch or a long-term incompatibility?” The answer lies in looking at the pattern, not just the incident.

Consider:

• Do we argue about the same things over and over?
• Does this confusion show up in other areas of life?
• Do I feel like I’m reliving the same issues every month?

If the relationship’s pain points are predictable, repeated, and unresolved, it’s not just a moment — it’s a pattern. And no amount of temporary change can substitute for a lack of foundational respect or emotional maturity.

Use Time Apart to Reconnect with Yourself 

Sometimes, distance creates clarity. Taking intentional time apart — even if brief — can help you hear your own voice more clearly.

During this period:

• Journal your thoughts and emotional needs
• Work with a trusted therapist
• Reflect on what you actually want from a romantic relationship

You may realise that you’re only in this relationship out of habit or fear. Or you may discover the space helped you remember why you fell in love. Either way, it’s a powerful strategy.

. Don’t Stay Just Because You’re Afraid to Leave 

Fear can be a deceptive reason to stay. Ask yourself:

• Am I afraid I won’t find someone else?
• Am I scared of being alone or starting over?
• Do I feel pressure to make a decision out of guilt?

These fears are natural — but they’re not reasons to accept a life that’s less than you deserve. You may love someone deeply, but that doesn’t mean they’re right for your growth.

You don’t need a dramatic reason to end things. Feeling unfulfilled is reason enough. Sometimes, it’s time to leave simply because you deserve better.

8. Visualise the Next Steps — Either Way 

What would your life look like if you chose to stay? What about if you chose to walk away?

Write down:

• What’s required from both of you to make things work?
• What are the risks and rewards of each path?
• What do you need emotionally, financially, logistically?

Taking time to define your next steps gives power back to your decision. When you’re clear about what comes next, you step out of uncertainty and into action.

9. Trust That the Right Choice Feels Like Relief

Here’s the truth most people avoid: the right choice often feels calm — even if it also hurts. When you’re constantly exhausted from the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out your future, it’s time to pause and clarify.

Whatever decision you make, make it from a place of truth, not fear.

A romantic relationship should never cost you your peace. You are not too much. You are not expecting too much. You’re just finally choosing not to accept too little.

Final Thoughts 

Only you can decide whether to stay or walk away from your current relationship. No quiz or friend, or therapist can make that call for you.

But know this: you are not alone. You are not overreacting. And your truth is valid.

You’re allowed to prioritise your peace. You’re allowed to ask for more. And if your partner isn’t willing to change, you’re allowed to find someone who is.

Your clarity is not coming — it’s already within you. Trust it.

Rachel Hall

Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.