Traditionally it fell upon men to pick the place for the first date. However, as times have changed, women are now stepping up to the plate and often initiate courting by planning dates and setting the standard for things to come. Dating is confusing at times, but choosing where you go on a first date can give you an idea of the direction a first date can take. As a woman, how to pick a place for your first date?
Go somewhere you can talk
Suggest a restaurant or venue that isn’t noisy, has a nice ambience and little interruptions. Conversation over food is a great way to get to know someone and break the ice.
Choose a place you both like
Before picking a first date location, you should find out what kind of food your date likes, if they like high end restaurants or cosy, intimate café runs. Talking about your likes and dislikes can help you find common or mutual points of interests and help you choose a place you both enjoy.
Pick a place that’s easy to find and centrally located
For a first date, you don’t want to get lost or be stuck in traffic. Invite your date to a location that is easily accessible to both of you and won’t put anyone out of their way. Also if it’s someone you don’t know very well, it’s better to be safe and meet them at the venue instead of asking them to pick you up.
Do something active
A first date doesn’t have to be at a restaurant. If your date is into playing tennis, walking in the park or doing something outdoors that you also enjoy, it’s a fun way to kickstart getting to know them better.
Don’t stress
Don’t feel overwhelmed by trying to find the perfect location for your first date. The point of the date is to learn more about the person you are meeting and if a second date or more can come out of it. A major part of getting to know someone is talking to them. If you are too worked up about if your date likes the venue, you will feel stressed and anxious which can take away from the experience.
What else can you do?
Avoid loud bars, night clubs and high traffic areas that can lead to you having to shout or barely hear what a person is saying. Keep it simple and also try to choose a venue that isn’t too expensive or would make your date feel uncomfortable. Involve your date in the planning process by asking what fits their budget, schedule and preference and also suggest splitting the bill beforehand. Check in with your date afterwards to make sure they’ve arrived home safely and recap some of the night and say thank you. And most importantly, be yourself. It’s honest and the best way to determine if someone really likes you and wants to get to know you even better!
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
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