The “Monogamy Superiority Myth” – New Research Suggests Unconventional Relationships Are Just As Satisfying

New Research by Joel Anderson Suggests Monogamy Isn’t Superior as Non-Monogamous People Report Equally Satisfying Relationships and Sex Lives, According to a New Study

What Is the “Monogamy Superiority Myth”—And Why Is It Crumbling?

The ‘monogamy superiority myth’ is the long-standing belief that monogamous relationships are inherently more stable, loving, and satisfying than any other form of relationship. This idea is deeply entrenched in society, perpetuated by fairy tales, mainstream media, and government policy. It supports the assumption monogamous relationships are not only the norm but the ideal.

However, new research suggests this notion may be more myth than reality. A recent meta-analysis explored how people in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships experience intimacy, trust, and fulfilment. Surprisingly to some, it found no significant differences in relationship or sexual satisfaction. This is part of a broader movement challenging the belief that monogamy is always best.

New Research Debunks the Monogamy Superiority Myth Once and for All

A new meta-analysis conducted by Professor Joel Anderson at La Trobe University examined data from 35 studies involving more than 24,000 individuals across the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe. Published in the Journal of Sex Research, this new study is the most comprehensive analysis to date comparing monogamous and non-monogamous individuals.

A Meta-Analysis That Changes the Conversation

This meta-analysis directly compared relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction across monogamous and consensually non-monogamous partnerships. The satisfaction dimensions included intimacy, emotional closeness, passion, and sexual commitment to one or more partners. It concluded people in non-monogamous relationships report feeling just as connected and fulfilled as those in monogamous ones.

This new research challenges a long-standing assumption outside of academia and presents evidence that relationships are just as satisfying, regardless of the relationship structure, provided there is clarity, honesty, and mutual consent.

Exploring the Many Forms of Non-Monogamy

The term non-monogamy refers to relationship structures that allow more than one romantic or sexual commitment at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all involved. This is not the same as infidelity or cheating—these relationships are built on trust, negotiation, and honesty.

Common Types of Non-Monogamous Relationships

• Open relationships: Partners may engage in sexual activity with others but remain emotionally committed.
• Polyamory: Individuals form multiple romantic relationships, often simultaneously, with deep emotional connections.
• Monogamish: A largely monogamous relationship where occasional sexual exploration with others is allowed.
• Swinging: A form of non-monogamy typically involving couples swapping partners in social or party settings.

Each form of consensual non-monogamy relationships offers its framework for connection, but all depend on communication and mutual agreement, not exclusivity.

Why People in Non-Monogamous Relationships Often Thrive

People in non-monogamous relationships often cite openness, emotional honesty, and personal autonomy as major contributors to their happiness. These partnerships often include ongoing discussions about needs, boundaries, and consent—conversations many monogamous relationships avoid or delay.

Cheating, or violations of exclusive romantic and sexual commitment, is one of the most common causes of breakdown in many monogamous relationships. In contrast, by negotiating boundaries from the start, people in these relationships often sidestep the betrayal and secrecy that damage trust in monogamous ones.

Breaking the Stigma Around Non-Monogamy

Despite increasing visibility, non-monogamous people still face considerable prejudice. These relationships often face stigma, as they are often reinforced by stereotypes and media portrayals of instability or promiscuity.

These perceptions lead to:

• Barriers to accessing supportive healthcare
• A lack of supportive healthcare and legal recognition
• Difficulties with therapists and professionals unfamiliar with CNM dynamics
• The notion that monogamous relationships are more satisfying

The fact that they experience differential or even prejudiced treatment is not due to the structure itself, but to societal misunderstanding.

Monogamy Still Matters—But It’s Not the Only Way

None of this research argues that monogamy is obsolete. Monogamous relationships continue to work well for millions. The key message is this: relationship satisfaction doesn’t depend solely on exclusivity or a single, traditional path.

The secret to fulfilling relationships might not be about exclusivity, but about alignment in values, open communication, and the ability to grow together. Whether you are monogamous or non-monogamous, what matters is intentional connection.

FAQs: What You Want to Know About Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy

Do non-monogamous relationships struggle with jealousy?

Yes, but not more than monogamous ones. The difference lies in the tools used—consensually non-monogamous relationships often include active emotional processing, which builds resilience.

Are non-monogamous relationships valid for heterosexual people?

Absolutely. The recent meta-analysis explored how people across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and heterosexual communities experience love and connection. It was found to be consistent across different demographics that satisfaction in their relationships remained strong.

Is non-monogamy just an excuse for casual sex?

Not at all. While some CNM relationships focus on sexual freedom, many prioritise deep emotional bonds. Romantic but not sexual exclusivity is even a common arrangement, proving the range of relationship and sexual structures available today.

Final Thoughts: Rewriting the Rules for Great Relationships

The findings challenge this long-standing assumption that monogamous relationships are more satisfying. What we see is that those non-monogamous partnerships can involve great relationships and great sex, while offering emotional fulfilment and autonomy.

It’s time that policymakers must recognise and support diversity in relationship structures rather than assuming monogamy is the only route. Whether you choose monogamy or non-monogamy, you deserve the support, resources, and respect to build meaningful, sustainable connections.

Rachel Hall

Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.