In a previous article (https://lovedoctorblog.com/2020/04/08/i-miss-the-girls-night-outs/) I mentioned James & Roger and promised to share this story with you at some time. That time has come. Grab some popcorn, hunker down and be ready.
It was around two years ago and I had brought my Match.com account back to life, having taken a short break from it after a bad experience (not Match.com fault, but men being weird). So, my Match profile was brought back to life with a new photograph. I went for an action pic to make me look more interesting. So the photo I used was of me horse riding. Also seemed like a good time to rewrite my introduction. Decided to appeal to guys that were into physical activities as I decided the techy guys I’d been dating previously just weren’t doing it for me.
So far, so good. New photo, new, exciting description of me and what kind of guy I was looking for… it wasn’t long before James appeared. He got off to a decent start with quite a witty introduction.. I chuckled. OK, we like James so far. He made me laugh.
James and I kept the messages flowing. He was ticking all the boxes. Was into rock climbing (ticked the adventurer box right there). We liked the same kind of holidays (no lying about on beaches). He made me laugh quite a lot.
Now let me explain something at this point. My old Match photo was a few years old (yes, I know… sorry about that. It was just laziness.. honestly). My hair in the old photo was blonde and long. My new photograph was one of me on a horse with a helmet on. I’d also lost a lot of weight…. A LOT.
So we get back to James. Once we get to know each other, I’m really falling for the guy. It’s like we’ve known each other for years. Then something odd happened. He stopped answering for a while, which wasn’t like him. We had been in touch every day. Then he suddenly reappeared and told me he was in trouble. His business had been experiencing financial difficulties and he had a tax bill to pay that he was a bit short in funding. It was only £1,000 short. But the good news was that he had just finished some huge contracts and was expecting £50,000 within the next two weeks.
That’s when I remembered Roger. It was on Plenty of Fish that I met Roger. He was charming, funny, witty until the point when he suddenly went silent. Then after a few days came back online, apologised for his silence and told me he was stuck in the USA with his wallet stolen and needed to get back to the UK immediately for an important business meeting. His hotel, taxi and flight should cost about…. You guessed it… £1,000.
It hadn’t really occurred to me before, but James and Roger both had a cat named Nibbles. I was so enamoured by James, that I just got caught up in the flow.. And he was incredibly charming.
My response to James was: Roger??? Is that you? I believe we met on POF. I’ve lost a bit of weight, which I guess is why you didn’t recognise me. But, you appear to have had a head transplant.
He didn’t respond.
Rachel Hall, M.A., completed her education in English at the University of Pennsylvania and received her master’s degree in family therapy from Northern Washington University. She has been actively involved in the treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, and coping with life changes and traumatic events for both families and individual clients for over a decade. Her areas of expertise include narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and therapy for traumatic cases. In addition, Rachel conducts workshops focusing on the psychology of positive thinking and coping skills for both parents and teens. She has also authored numerous articles on the topics of mental health, stress, family dynamics and parenting.
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